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Today’s blog post is a little different from usual because today is the day I get to share my interview with Emily Fagan from This WifeStyle!
Emily is such a sweet person, and it has been great to get to know her a little bit through this interview. We both thought this would be a fun way for us to compare and contrast our experiences as a military and a law enforcement spouse. So at the end of this post, I’ll place a link where you can check out her interview with me!
I hope you enjoy hearing from a different voice today as Emily shares a bit about her perspective on Life as a Law Enforcement Officer’s Wife.
So without further ado, here’s our interview:
Tell me a little about yourself.
My name is Emily Fagan and I am the creator of This Wifestyle! I am 24 years old and I live in South Carolina. I’m a certified teacher and I started blogging in April of 2018! A few things that are particularly important to me are my faith, my husband, and my spunky dog Bailey. A few things you should know about me: I cannot pass a candle aisle in the store without smelling literally every candle, I’d probably be a vegetarian if bacon wasn’t so darn good, I hate summer (bring on the sweaters and chilly evenings, please), and my sense of humor is all over the place.
How long have you been married & how did you meet your spouse?
I have been married just over a year. I met my sweet husband at our high school graduation (I know, right?). We went to the same college, started dating, and got married on June 3, 2017, two weeks after we got our degrees!
What are the best parts about being a Law Enforcement family?
There are a few things that are great about being a law enforcement family! My husband’s commute car/gas is paid for by the state, so we save a lot of money on insurance/gas. My husband’s job is to fight crime and protect civilians- so I feel really confident that he could protect our family if an unfortunate circumstance ever arose. Also, although his work hours are CRAZY, he often has periods with a lot of time off, and so we can go out and have fun while most people would be working normal hours.
What are the worst parts about being a law enforcement family?
Likewise, I can think of a few things that are not so fun about being a law enforcement family. The media tends to dislike law enforcement. Although I understand the thin blue line and everything that comes with that- he’s not just a police officer…He’s my husband! He sat next to me in class at 19 years old and clumsily asked for my number. He sleeps next to me at night, encourages me when I’m down, and my heart goes with him everytime he drives away in his patrol car. Some people have pushed their opinions onto me, and it can hurt!
Another thing that I’m not too fond of is the hours! For example- this week he is working five 12 hour nights shifts! He’s gone from 6 p.m.- 6a.m. He sleeps all day and works all night, so we can’t really hang out with friends or even spend a lot of time together.
Finally- I don’t like the weight of this job. There have been several days where he comes home and bursts into tears- deadly wrecks, DUI cases where innocent people/families are injured, etc. He’s a police officer, but he’s still a human. I can’t imagine the things he’s seen and sometimes I ask him to give me the short, clean version so that I can protect myself enough to make sure he’s okay.
How is your job as a wife to a law enforcement officer different than other wives?
Pretty much every time he works night shifts, I have a hard time sleeping. I get worried when I wake up and he’s still not back yet. I seriously woke up to a text one time that said, “Hey, I’ll be home a little late. Big chase. Car wrecked. Car on fire. I’m fine. Don’t worry.” DON’T WORRY? HA! That’s funny.
Did you ever think you’d marry someone in law enforcement?
Never. Before my husband decided to go into law enforcement, I was terrified of cops. Like, even if I was following all the rules I thought they would try to get me in trouble! Now, I feel a lot more comfortable around them and feel like I’m part of the family.
What’s the most common misconception about being a law enforcement wife?
There is a misconception that many police officers get divorced. I think it’s due to the crazy hours and the toll the job can take on the family. I have to go above and beyond to make sure that our marriage is my first priority and let him know that I support him and am available to encourage him whenever he needs it.
What’s the best advice you have for other law enforcement spouses?
You’re stronger than you think! You can hold down the fort while he is away. Don’t be afraid to kill all the spiders, check the locks on the doors when you hear a weird noise, and take care of things at home while he is gone all night!
How have you changed since being a law enforcement wife?
I’ve become a lot more comfortable around guns. It sounds worse than it is. Obviously, my husband wears a firearm to work every day and he has to take it off every time he comes home. Before he was in law enforcement, I was terrified of guns. I knew nothing about them and preferred to keep away. Now, I understand gun safety and feel a little better about seeing them every day!
I’m also more thoughtful of law enforcement officers and families. Before, I never thought of cops actually having families and lives of their own outside of their cop cars! Now I see someone’s husband or father anytime I pass a patrol car on the road.
Finally, I’ve learned to be flexible. I know that my husband may be working on my birthday, our anniversary, or holidays. I’ve learned to be okay with rescheduling big things around his shifts because that is the only way to survive in this kind of lifestyle.
Any advice for people dating law enforcement officers?
If you’re already dating someone in law enforcement, chances are you know a little bit of what I’m talking about. If you’re dating someone who is thinking of a career in law enforcement- Expect them to change. My husband started telling me how he wanted me to sit in the car to be safer, encouraging me to think of ways I’d defend myself if I were ever in trouble, and having to face a door when going out in public. He became way more cautious. Expect to get familiar with some 10-codes. Expect to adapt to a new normal with his schedule. Also, expect to automatically feel more comfortable around law enforcement officers (they’re not as scary as they seem!).
If you want to read my answer to some of these questions, you can check out my interview with Emily on her blog today, here.